The other Queen

These are sad and troubled times for our great economy. As Black Rod whacks his ebony tipped stick against the slammed Commons' doors, Her Majesty will preside over a State Opening of Parliament midst the mixed sound of ceremonial bugles, tumbling shares and sinking banks. We have bitter personal experience of bank failures here in Somerset. But fortunately we have a most able expert to handle our financial crises. Frankly I would bank on him. Mr Crabb is going to be our new Council Leader. I have today written to the Palace recommending his services in dealing with the intricacies of the Civil List. And next time I am involved in a Royal event in the county I will surely drop to one knee and hope that She will favour me with a double burger and extra fries.